i don't talk to people.
i don't open up.
i don't date.
people are unreliable.
i can't even allow myself to trust the people i want too.
what if they wont love me any more?
what if my problems are too much, they can't, or wont, care.
isolation hurts. but at least its safe.
Miko,
ReplyDeleteI won't tell you who I am other than we worked together this summer. I stumbled across your blog at the beginning of the summer, and I debated all summer whether to talk to you about it.
I've been there too. I know how it feels, and I just want you to know that it DOES get better. It takes a while; there's a whole hell of a lot of hurt and anger and you feel like your soul is corroding. And then something silly like running over a butterfly will make you sob uncontrollably.
And you have people around you that want to help, but the bottom line is that if you are anything like me, you will insist on crawling through the darkness yourself. And once you're through it, you'll have a much greater ability to trust and love the people around you. But you WILL get through it. And on the other side you feel invincible. I now look back on it all and am grateful for the pain. When the pieces fell apart I got to be the one to put them back together the way I wanted them.
Have hope. Keep going.
-SB-
thank you.
ReplyDeletewhoever you are, from the bottom of my heart,
Thank you.