Fun fact: I have to be in control. At all times. I manipulate and coerce, adjust and restructure until I feel that I have absolute control of a situation. I don't mean to be this way, but I absolutely am. It is the main area I see the most manifestation of change from the rape. If I feel out of control, I panic, I shut down, I break down, I lose it.
This is going to be the hardest thing to let go on, I know it. I have to work on it though, its affecting every aspect of my life.
Gosh, this is hard.
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