Productivity is Key.

So I got up at an hour my mother would call 'reasonable' (but I would call ungodly) today. And I quickly reviewed my Theater Resume, printed out a head shot, got dressed and went on my way to Circle Player's auditions for "To Kill a Mockingbird". After about an hours worth of driving and being lost, I realized that I was NOT the right age for the show and I was NOT willing to drive that far to rehearsal every day... so I gave up and came home.

On the way home, however, I stopped by the new tea-room, Homestead Manor, and ended up picking up an application. I took it home and then brought it back, completed, several hours later and was hired on the spot! Praise the Lord for small blessings. If only all Job applications and hirings were so easy. Mom always reminds my to keep my prayers specific, and on my way in i whispered "Dear God, Please let them be hiring a cute, 20 year old Laura. Love, Me" And they were! Hurrah!

Now i have just gotten home from dear EAP's house (Evil Aunt Pat, for those that don't know) and I'm going to shower before curing up in bed with my book. I'm rather worn out and ecstatic about it.

Blessings to you all.

I know its the 6th

But we're gonna count this one as the 5th.

I just had the best evening with Scott Williams. I am so thankful and blessed to have quality people, especially guys, in my life that show me that giving up on humanity is not the answer to my problems. I am reminded of this daily; and that, my friends, is incredible.

That is all.

Hmmm

The thing I hate the most about all of this, is that I have not found it in me to hate him. I worry about him, knowing his parents aren't too supportive, having to face all of this alone. I feel terrible for putting him through all this, as if it is somehow all my fault. I have nightmares about being raped, but it is never by him. It is a literal mental block. In that aspect, I wish that it had all happened the way it is "supposed to happen"- violently, by someone unknown to me. He was my friend, I trusted him implicitly.

After this past year, my trust in my own judgment of people has changed unalterably. I'm too nice, too forgiving, too trusting. I like to pretend that I'm super jaded and mean and pessimistic. But honestly, I'm not. As long as someone hangs around just long enough to get past that thin veneer then I'm loyal as a puppy dog; its frustrating.

I don't know where to put all my stuff. There just isn't room in my room!

Alright, thats the update for today.

Relief.

Wow. I am so happy that today is OVER.

I'll give more details later, but he has been suspended until spring 2011. In order to be eligible to return he must meet several requirements including attending counseling and two papers.

I am exhausted, drained, a whirlwind of emotion. But, I'm thankful that this is over. And that I am Home.

Thank you so so so much for the prayers.

I love you.

overwhelmed.

I have SO MUCH left to do today.

Finish packing
Withdraw
Quit 2 jobs
Attend the Hearing
Load the Car
Check out of my Room
Say Goodbye

Hopefully withdrawing wont take that long??

I'm so over today. I don't feel like it.

I quit.

Lambuth Blues

So I'm back at Lambuth. Woo.

If anyone was worried about me coming back and wanting to stay, lay your worries aside. I love my friends here, I do. But I recognize that we're all just super friendly cause its my Last Night. Ha.

Packing SUCKS.

Prayers tomorrow please, The Hearing is at 2:30.


Thank You.

almost missed today.

not a very good day emotionally.

back to feeling dead. listless.

i don't feel like writing more.